Good Morning, God
The other day a friend asked, “Does Prayer Work?” And I found myself saying, “That’s the wrong question!” I went on to say — that is the question we ask about objects. Does this blender work? Does this medicine work. Prayer is our interaction with a “higher” level of reality. Or maybe it is a “deeper” level of reality? I do not have words to describe something so “other”.
But, God, I do have a deep desire to share how I am now experiencing prayer. Before, I felt like I was begging — well, earnestly pleading — for Your Help. I felt as if You were not “paying attention” and I had to get Your Attention.
Now — after years of Centering Prayer and Welcoming Prayer — everything feels flipped. I am the one who isn’t paying attention. I am the one who has wandered off to do my own thing. And You, God, have given me the image of Alfred P. Doolittle as he says to Professor Higgins, I’M WILLING TO HELP. I’M WANTING TO HELP. I’M WAITING TO HELP.
I’m sitting here smiling! But this image feels so true that I just have to share it. You ARE WILLING, WANTING AND WAITING to help us. But, often, not the way we want or expect. I think of prayer now as my coming to You and saying “Please, let Your Will be done in me.”
I really do not know How or What You do — when I sit, silently, consenting to the action of Your Indwelling Spirit within me. But, as I grow in TRUST I am becoming more comfortable with that. As I look around me I hardly know where to begin in Asking Prayers.
Well, less judging, less anger, less hate — in me an ongoing awareness of how little I know — and how much fear, pain and grief I have to let go of. Because, somehow it is that Fear, Pain and Grief that give rise to Judging, Anger and Hate.
All those are abstractions. What I can say is that I retired in a very resentful and angry state. A few weeks later I was invited to nine days of Centering Prayer at the Benedictine Monastery in Snowmass. I came in filled with toxic judgments. And every day as I sat — intentionally — in God’s Presence — I was very slowly helped to see things from a different perspective. It was mostly imperceptible. But, slowly I saw myself as part of the situation and I released the multiple toxins — forgiving others, forgiving myself. I am convinced those nine days of Centering Prayer saved my life.
Bodies housing anger and hate have very little energy left for healing.